Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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