we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
