they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
