woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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