Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
