i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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