He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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