Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
