So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
