i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize