Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
my penis made a compromise with my morals
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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