everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
