this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
