at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
