you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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