Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
All the doctor said was why
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
