Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
