the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
