i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
