yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
