ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize