Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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