Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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