Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
