Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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