WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize