had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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