So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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