she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
no you cant smoke seaweed
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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