I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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