So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
