his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
