Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
