and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
