And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
