It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
