I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
