come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
