Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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