hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My bed smells like the plague
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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