Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
