he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
