VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
