I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I could fuck to npr.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
