we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
