I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
