i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
