The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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