he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
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Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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