WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
