We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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