Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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