quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
