you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
