so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize