she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
