Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
