it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.