I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was