Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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