I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.